Wednesday, December 19, 2007

holy crap

I was searching for sperm-and-egg pictures because I think they're pretty, for example

When I happened across the most sexist thing I have EVER SEEN:

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


Since the separation of church and state has become a cliche now, I decided to not even bother writing anything about Huckabee's new TV ad. Instead, I will simply post the reactions of a completely random sampling of American citizens.

I hope he dies. I hope he dies in a fire.
Shannon M.

What a fucking cocksucker. Fuck that fucking motherfucker.
Roy W.

Fuck you. Fucking Huckabee. What a fucking piece of shit. What about the Jews? THE JEWS!?!?!?!?
Derekh F.

I hate Jesus.
Charlie P.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Get it?! Fruit Flies??! Ohhh!

Here we have it: the perfect illustration of the scary implications of the disconnect between science and the public.

Scientists have figured out how to turn homosexuality (or, you could say, heterosexuality) "on" and "off" in fruit flies by giving them a drug that changes the way their brains register pheromones.

“It was amazing,” Dr. Featherstone said. “I never thought we’d be able to do that sort of thing, because sexual orientation is supposed to be hard-wired.”

Uh, did you hear that? Scientists are so convinced of the fact that sexual orientation is hard-wired that they are now amazed to have stumbled across the possibility of altering it. Meanwhile, something like 40% of the American population is still convinced that homosexuality is a choice.

Not that a fruit fly brain is the same as a human brain or anything, but make no mistake: this is Big News. Dr. Featherstone then went on to say that he thinks that it's theoretically possible to develop a drug that will let people choose their sexual orientations. He then goes on to drop some Dr. Ian Malcolm wisdom, suggesting that the important question is not "can we," but "should we."

So wait! We are in for a real treat! Science says that homosexuality is not a choice now, but it MIGHT ACTUALLY BECOME A FUCKING CHOICE in the future. And when it does, that 40% that we're so blessed to share our country with will have completely missed that pretty important step in the middle and will, I can only expect, begin demanding the right to make the choice for us. Mandatory de-programming! How will they justify this logically, I wonder? Oh wait, silly me.

God, I can't wait to be gay.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Who speaks for Earth?

Here is an article in Seed Magazine that reveals a debate about the implications of seeking contact with extraterrestrial life. This Russian scientist is sending out messages into outer space, and some other people are like "Excuse me, sir, but who are you to make this decision for the entire Earth? The aliens you seek could be total douchebags."

This debate just boggles my mind. I start thinking about trying to get the entire world to agree on something, and it's like something short-circuits in my brain and I'm upended by a barrage of frenetic thoughts:

We can't get a global energy policy together
We can't get global human rights principles enforced
We can't stop thousands of children from starving to death every day
We can't even get everyone in our country, let alone the entire world, to read the fucking constitution
We can't get people to stop buying poisonous sweatshop toys for their spoiled brat kids for christmas

But YES, let's align ourselves around whether or not to contact aliens.

I am not trying to be critical of the debate, because I think that the points are all valid. But I just cannot CANNOT give a shit. I can't make my brain do it. I can't worry about being attacked by aliens when the entire world is already being conquered by the Big Mac. PLEASE, RUSSIAN GUY. CALL THE FUCKING ALIENS. I don't think they could do anything worse to us than what we're doing to ourselves.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

You called my children animals!

Like Mike, if I could be like Mike, I wanna be, I wanna be like Huckabee!

Chuck Norris Fact #128: This Video

Remember the funny Chuck Norris Facts website? Well Chuck Norris has apparently sold his soul to politics. Apparently Huckabee has a sense of humor. I give him that. Not that this spot is funny, but it's trying!

Once again, the wisdom of the commentors soothes my aching wounds.

Utuber709: ohhh myyyy goddd america's days are over.

spicEYOfeLiAEe: wow this video is boring as shit!
If anyone wants some real entertainment
Check out my Boobs on my channel!
Unless your gay that is...

Esialpha: Did you guys know that Huckabee doesn't believe in evolution? Does that concern anybody?

Burntrice192:it doesnt matter, what chuck norris says is law.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

And on the eighth day, god created mica

A new hypothesis that the first biomolecules on Earth originated as proteins contained between primordial sheets of mica has been developed by Helen Hansma (chick!), a research scientist at UC Santa Barbara and a program director at the National Science Foundation.

This hypothesis is only slightly more compelling than the Jar of Peanut Butter hypothesis presented by leading scientists just a few years ago:

Tuesday, December 4, 2007


As if we weren't already convinced that sperm powers the universe...I'm gonna become a mad-scientist-engineer and design a fuckin flux capacitor that's powered by my vagina, so there.

Energy Supply That Drives Sperm Could Power 'Nanobot'

Monday, December 3, 2007

My better life would include dinosaurs

This 16 year old kid in North Dakota found this mummified dinosaur with like tons of tissue intact. That's it. My childhood memories are all ruined, forever tinged with the bitter glow of not having found a mummified dinosaur.

The cool part about finding a mummified dinosaur as opposed to just a fossilized one is that scientists can calculate muscle mass and density. Also they found that the vertebrae were further apart than previously assumed--there's some kind of spacer tissue in between them. They figured out that this dinosaur (and perhaps a lot of other dinosaurs) are quite a bit bigger than we thought. That means our estimation of their running speeds changes, which starts to change the way we think about predator/prey dynamics. I kind of wish I was a paleontologist or other kind of Dinosaur Scientist. It's like you make one new discovery and the whole world changes. Think of all the imagining they get to do.

Also, this month's National Geographic has a whole thing on dinosaurs. There's a free poster and it's awesome. Sometimes I fantasize about decorating my entire apartment with dinosaur posters. To shit with having nice fancy grownup things.