Friday, May 16, 2008

Guilty Pleasure

So the collective hate-boner for Hillary has seriously died down, as it should. Now that she's been put away--and is no longer attacking our boy--I can definitely feel myself take that much-needed deep breath and start to let go of all my irritation and frustration.

BUT, The New Republic's exclusive report--direct from anonymous HRC campaign staffers--of what "went wrong" is still the sweetest kind of sweetness. Sweet like running into your ex when you're working some hot cleavage. Sweet like watching your asshole boss trip and fall down the stairs. Sweet like finding out your old high school bully is on welfare. There's really no excuse for how gratifying it is to linger on the details of the failure of others--other than the fact that it is delicious.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Big Gay Love in California

So California finally got their shit together, and in 30 days same-sex couples will have the right to marry. The Schwartz says he won't veto this time. It could potentially get fucked up in November, if conservative groups get an amendment to the state's constitution on the ballot. But, let's be honest--what can't get fucked up in November?

I have a hobby, which is to try to stake out a unique position on partisan issues that I view as having become too polarized (meaning, predictable) to provide me with the level of entertainment necessary to keep me interested and engaged in the public discourse. Basically, if I simply take the 'left' position, any time the topic comes up I am limited to an already well-established set of arguments, and consistently encounter the exact same counter-arguments. Boooooo-ring.

On the issue of same-sex marriage, my position is this: The state should not recognize same-sex marriage. Additionally, I don't think that the state should recognize hetero marriages, either. Marriage is idiosyncratic and personal. All of the legal functions that a spouse serves could be handled by a partner of your choice. You could update your partner online, just like you update your address with the DMV. Seriously, how easy is that!?

However, there is your ideal position, and then there is your real-life position that is informed by the conditions present in the real world. So, of course I think this is a good thing.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Millennials Again

Bob Herbert, who I am normally not that fond of, has written a column about my generation that is pretty interesting, if for no other reason than it is not horribly offensive (as is every other thing I have read or seen about 'millennials'). The piece is at once depressing and vindicating, saying that because our generation has gotten royally fucked over by the government and conservative politics, we are more progressive:

Often saddled with debt, and with their job prospects gloomy, young Americans feel their government ought to be doing more to enhance their prospects. They want increased investments in education, health care and initiatives aimed at expanding the economy and fostering the growth of good jobs.

I think it's interesting that Herbert doesn't mention civil rights issues as being potential contributing factors to our generation's progressive stance. Unlike the older generations, we have grown up in desegregated schools and communities, with gay friends and classmates. Also, many of us are sluts and cherish our right to have an abortion (kidding?). Conservatives running around trying to limit or infringe upon the rights of us, our friends, and our loved ones has taken its toll. Also, I know that every generation thinks that the world is going to end (my mom told me that when she was a teenager she was positive that the world would be blown up by 1980), but I'm gonna go ahead and pull the global warming card and say that I at least feel like the older generation (and I often consider myself to be part of the older generation, here) has really dropped the ball on some pretty important shit. Old, oil-grubbing conservatives do not help themselves by denying the existence of a problem that threatens to fuck up our lives and our children's lives.

Any way, this entire post is really only intended to give me an excuse to share one of my If-I-Was-Ruler-of-My-Own-Country fantasies, which is this: wouldn't it be cool if your vote was weighted in proportion to the number of years you would have to live with the effects? Like, if you're 65, you've got like 20 years left. I've got a good 60 years left in me. Shoudn't my vote count triple what yours counts?

Then again, if I was the ruler of my own country, it wouldn't matter because I wouldn't let anyone else vote'd just be me and the cabana boys, who are just there to look pretty and work the palm fronds.

Friday, May 9, 2008

This is why I don't watch TV

I saw this commercial on TV today. Perhaps the most exquisite and beautiful piece of treachery that I have ever seen.

"The "Human Element" showcases Dow's commitment to addressing global economic, social and environmental concerns."

See also: Dow Chemical fucking kills and maims people on a regular fucking basis by permeating the planet with toxic poisonous deformity-creating bullshit

See also: Whoever created this ad spot, I hope you drown in a giant pool of money and dioxin

Friday, April 18, 2008

Interestingly Enough

So little uneducated me always assumed that the reason why obesity is a health risk is because you have to cart around so much extra body weight that it strains your heart. Or something. But I just read this article in Science Daily about metabolic syndrome, which is code for "death by fat."

"Most people today think that obesity itself causes metabolic syndrome," said Dr. Roger Unger, professor of internal medicine at UT Southwestern and senior author of the study. "We're ingrained to think obesity is the cause of all health problems, when in fact it is the spillover of fat into organs other than fat cells that damages these organs, such as the heart and the liver. Depositing fatty molecules in fat cells where they belong actually delays that harmful spillover."

So basically your body stores fat in fat cells, the ones that make beer bellies and ghetto booties, for as long as it can pack it in there, but when it runs out of room the fat starts encroaching into--INTO--your organs. So your organs are filled with fatty fat fat. Which makes it hard for them to perform somewhat important functions like, oh, i dunno, pump blood to your entire body. And then you die.

So not to bag on fat people, but seriously, that shit is disgusting.

Love and Healing

Shannon: i am in a coffeeshop
Shannon: and i just overheard
Shannon: the following conversation
Dan: k
Shannon: girl: "what was your novel about?"
Shannon: guy (solemn): "my novel was about a guy who was in love with a girl who died in the twin towers."
Shannon: "so it's a love story, but also about healing."
Shannon: girl (earnestly): "wow, i'd really like to read that."
Dan: wow, i would really like to read it too
Shannon: totally
Dan: you should ask him to send it to me
Shannon: it's also about healing
Dan: that is the part that got me interested
Dan: i mean , love stories .. are just love stories
Dan: but add healing
Shannon: love + healing = ALL YOU NEED
Dan: finally, someone is starting to talk about 911
Shannon: talking is the first step
Shannon: to healing
Dan: healing
Dan: is .... love
Dan: thats the twist in the end
Dan: what if
Dan: though
Dan: the healing
Dan: was about
Dan: actual healing
Dan: like
Dan: physical
Dan: healing
Dan: like regeneration
Shannon: like
Shannon: the whole thing is about him recovering from rotator cuff surgery
Shannon: and also btw his gf died
Shannon: but that's a sub-plot
Dan: in 911
Shannon: it's really about healing
Shannon: see, what a lot of people don't realize
Shannon: is that physical therapy can be intensely emotionally demanding
Dan: and so can love
Shannon: exactly.
Dan: hey , is that guy cute?
Shannon: not really
Shannon: moderately cute
Shannon: i'm actually not wearing my glasses